Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Breakfast Shits and Ghosts

Breakfast time.
Typing what I hear behind me, my kids are unaware.
Note that this is all whispered:

B= Benny, 6.
R= Ryan, 9.

B: I'm a dum dum.
R: Yes, but say shit!
B: shhhhhh.
R: Say IT.
B: Shhhh.
R: Come on say shit.
B: No because I am a dum dum (giggles).
R: Look I will say "I am the..." and you will say shit real fast when I am done ok? Have to say it as fast as you can say it though. You ready?
B: (quiet, then says yes he will do it while giggling.)
R: Ok, ready? Here we go:
B: Ok I am ready.
R: Now I am going to say this fast and you have to say shit ok?
B: I want you to say shit.
R: Ok, then you have to say real fast "Ryan is the" ok?
B: Ok.
R: Ok Go.
B: RYAN IS A
R: SHIT!
R: ... NO I am not you did it wrong. You said I am shit.
B: You said it.
R: (really, really pissed off) Look at me.
~~Don't say shit guys you two are cursing too much.~~
R: (looking at Benny).
B: Really Ryan don't look at me.
R: I am looking at you.
B: Stop.
R: Looooooking...
B: STOP
R: I SEE YOU!
B: NO YOU DON'T SEE ME RYAN STOP!
R: You are right there and I am looooking at you.
B: (About to cry)
~~Ryan stop looking at him and eat your french toast.~~
B: Dad said not to look at me.
R: (Ignores).
B: Ryan.
R: (Ignores).
B: RYAAAAN.
R: (Ignores).
B: RYAN DAD SAID YOU CAN'T SEE ME BUT YOU CAN HEAR ME! I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!
R: What are you a ghost?
B: No I am not a ghost.
R: Say shit (whispered).

~Dad moment with meanface. They got the point and shut the hell up for a few seconds, then...~

R: Look, I am Benny WWOOOOOoooooOOOOOooo...ooooOOO
B: I AM NOT A GHOST!
R: That means you died.
B: I didn't die Ryan STOP IT CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE MAKING ME MAD?
R: No, because I cannot see you.

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